Prison Games!!!
I have an idea for an event that would save the tax payers a whole lot of money... Prison Games. Here's the plan:
We get rid of every death penalty, just scrap them all. And instead of putting people on death row, we put them on Prison Games row and we house them all (nationwide) in the same facility. We designate a large area near the facility (for best results this area should have a forest, river, all kinds of wild beasts, a cliff and a waterfall) fence this area off and call it the Prison Games wildlife Preserve. After ten years we take all the inmates on Prison Games row and tell them they will be participating in an all-out battle royale for their freedom. Now recall these people are people who would have bene given the death penalty: murderers, rapists, serial killers, etc... So we bus them over to the Prison Games wildlife Preserve and offer PCP to those who want it (the government confiscates tons of that stuff yearly from drug busts it has no cost to them) and let them at it... Imagine a bunch of PCP enriched murderers in an all out war... it'd be insane... I know what you're all thinking at this point. You're wondering about my first sentence and asking "How will this save tax payers money?" Simple, Pay-Per-View... If the government puts this shit on Pay-Per-View, millions of people would buy into it. It'd be the greatest tax cut in history. They could sell DVD's too... It'd be like the Roman Gladiator games all over again... think about it... A great empire (USA, Rome) takes their prisoners and puts them in fights to the death. The Romans are looked upon as highly intelligent, sophisticated individuals so if it was good enough for them its good enough for us (that sentence was for the people who are thinking "That's terrible. You, sir, are a horrible person."). This would create a huge boost in the government's revenue (PPV) as well as a large drop in its expenses (all the death row inmates no longer need housing, security, food, electric, etc...). In addition to all of the above, we should allow any persons not on Prison Games row to participate as well. To give people a shot at the one who sold their 12-year-old kid the heronine he or she overdosed on, and to let parents beat the shit outta their delinquent children one last time and just for those people who are psychotic enough to do it just for fun. Once again, I know what you are all thinking, what about the part in the beginning about the inmates fighting for their freedom... It was a lie to embed hope in the hopeless to fill their hearts with purpose and need... It'd make the games oh sooo much more interresting... hmmm... If we kept taxes the same and added the games... we could use all the money to set up an absolute defense around the entire border... It'd be beautiful... sigh... If only this were the Roman empire... they would sooo go for it...